mary

Before the year ended, we shared a night like no other. We were in a dark room yet the light you emitted was enough to show me who you really are. Your outline, the touch of your skin and your scent drove me crazy. It was an exciting night knowing that after many years of my existence, I would finally meet you face-to-face. There was only a brief introduction because we felt like we have known each other for a long time. I know you from the books, the media, the government and the adventurers but I have yet to know the real you. You know all about me, my need to escape, my desire to experience and my angst. You said you will give me your services for free as long as I do not fall in love with you head over heels. We will hook up as agreed; no obligations, no regrets and free of charge.

I ran my fingers against your body. I shivered at the thought that finally we will be one. You touched me in places like no one else can and we breathed the same cold air. In the silence of the night you sang with Ivy,

Bye Bye baby, don’t be long
I’ll worry about you while you’re gone…

All my worries got lost in space the moment you kissed me. Time stopped and there was no turning back. It is now or never. All that I was taught about you were forgotten the instant you penetrated me. Yes, we were finally one. You went inside me and took my soul away; with it were the truths I strongly believed in. I did not fight back instead I gave it all. You wrapped me in your arms and I felt your warmth inside me. You warmed my cold heart and it suddenly pumped back to life.

My resurrected heart worked faster than ever, I do not know if it was the thrill of the moment or your presence that made it race like hell. All I know is that you made me be someone that the society thinks is not capable of committing a crime much more go out with you. You created a reality for me, a reality free from oppression, from love, from myself and free from truths.
You gave us a reality very different from mine, although at the back of my mind I know it will not last. It never will.

You took my breath away but still I gasped that you do not stop. It was a perfect bliss. You were all over me; passionately burning and clouding the space around us. Your spirit sustained me until your fire died.

The people are against us. They want you away from this world where you can no longer hurt people. Every minute was a struggle with the thought that what was happening is a sin, a crime against society. If they find us together, we could both be dead.

What they said were true. You were classy that Dunhill, better than Winston by tenfold and stronger than what the Fortune teller foretold. You were better than a man for you brought me effortlessly to heaven. We flew to never land. That night you were mine and I am yours, my Mary.

It does not matter what the others call you. Your former lovers may call you a thousand endearing names but you are my opium and my only one night stand.

I am sorry I broke the rules. I fell in love with you. When shall I see you again? I want to hear your sweet promises; I need to feel you again. When will you cloud the room that we once shared? I looked for you in the Fair grounds but did not feel your presence. When years before, we always had brief encounters in the midst of the University grounds. I have not forgotten about you and I never will. I am worried while you are gone. I cannot wait to create a new and different reality with you, even if it is short-lived.

I am singing you this while waiting for your return.

…Baby, don’t be long
I’ll worry about you while you’re gone…
I’ll think of you in my dreams,
You never know just what you mean to me.

Mga nakita kong pagbabago sa UP

Madami nang nagbago sa UP. Yung isawan, kung dati-rati basta oorder ka na lang, amay maya kukuning mo na lang ang isang dosenang isaw. Ngayon, may pila na, may order slip na pati. Naging systematic na sila sa pagkuha ng order ng mga customer. Hindi lang yun, may mic na ang tindera at hindi lang basta mic, naka-lapel pa. so kapag nalutoi na ang order, hindi na kailangang sumigaw pero dinig pa rin ng lahat ng mamimili ang order mo, kung magkano ang binayad mo at kung may problema sa order. Sa ibang pagkakataon, alam na rin ng ibang mamimili kung ano ang pangalan mo. Nakakatawa, broadcasted na ang order in a systematic way naman.

Marami na nga ang nagbago. hindi ko na kilala ang mga nakaupo sa tambayan, hindi ko na makilala ang mga mukha na dumadaan sa pasilyo ng kolehiyo, hindi ko na rin kilala ang ibang mga guro. Lumiit na rin campus, mula noong lumipat ang registrar malapit sa FC at dahil ang ruta ng toki umiksi na rin. Marami na ang nagbago; kasama na siguro ako doon.

Kailangan daw kasi ng pagbabago. Iyon lang hindi nagbabago sa mundong ibabaw. Malay natin baka si Oble may saplot na bukas o kaya naman puro mayaman na lang makakapag-aral dito. Pero sa lahat ng magbabago sa UP, sana hindi ang huli.

meeting old friends

I already had planned how my day should go. Have my picture taken at UP SC, then buy meds for the parents, run some other errands and get my laptop. As I was walking, I felt the urge to have something cold as the heat of the summer kisses me. The nearest fruit shake stand did not have what I had in my mind. I found it odd that they do not serve avocado shake, saying it was out of the season whjen I knew it wasn't. Nevertheless I went to a hunt and moved to another store despite it's distance from I should be really going. A sudden change in my planned route led me to a famous carinderia in UP. While waiting in cue, I was tapped by an old friend who happened to drop by UP since it was a city holiday in Mandaluyong. She is with another good friend and talked for hours, laughing and recalling the old UP days. The org days actually, since it was what brought us together in the first place. We chatted on how the org was, the gossips, issues - political and romantic, the people whom we miss dearly. We laughed and on the good times, how we were then and now. We relayed the mishaps and misadventures we have encountered since we got out of UP. Funny how much we have grown yet still had that youthful college spirit.

As we decided to part ways since it was getting dark, we passed by Mang Larry's Isaw, which is already an icon of UP culture. We decided to grab a bite, only to realize that another former orgmates were there too. Again, we chatted, laughed and caught up on each others' lives. It is true that once a working person visits his old college campus would feel young again. Others felt relaxed, rejuvenated and filled with the old youthful energy. They felt it and I did too. I don't know if it had to do witht he fresh air, the cool breeze or the trees surrounding the campus. I think it is the memories that we would hold on for the rest of our lives. The experiences of joy, heartache, fulfillment, deadlines and friendships that we had would always be imprinted in our memories.

Then it was getting dark. We still have work and classes to attend to the next day so the need to the end of meeting was inevitable.

I had a good time and I know they did too. I did finish my errands and still had time to write this. Earlier, I was worried I may not do what I was supposed to do today. I was afraid the plans I had for this day would remain just a plan and will be executed the following day or the next. But I did make it.

Sometimes circumstances would make us change how we live our lives. A simple change in plan might change the everything. Well, not really simple changes will not do harm unless you get too engorge you forgot your duties and responsibilities. Sometimes letting it all flow and let nature take its course would make you happier and more fulfilled.

That sudden change in my route and schedule for the day left me happier. I was not exhausted, nay, I felt energized. We all wished that we could still live our lives the way we did before. But everybody has to grow up and see the real world.

So for anyone who is in college now, enjoy while it lasts. And when it ends, feel free to drop by your college campus once in a while. It will bring you back to the old days when everything was free; when you were not yet a taxpayer and you were still your own master.