Im so happy today for I learned a lot in the Special Olympics. I learned a lot from a nun who devoted her life reaching out to disadvantaged children with special needs (CSN) and to a college professor who committed his life to helping CSN. One day, I will use my knowledge in health to reach out to these children and hopefully to the other members of the society.
I just pray that my Lighting Director would guide me all the way.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Liham para kay Crushee
Alam mo bang crush na crush kita sa tuwing nag-uusap tayo ng mga makabuluhang bagay na may kinalaman sa lipunan? Sa bawat teorya at konsepto na binibitawan mo, buong lakas akong nakikinig sa matamis mong boses na puno ng galak. Buong hanga akong nakikinig sa mga siyentipikong katotohanan na binabahagi mo. Binibigyan mo ng linaw ang mga bagay na hirap akong unawain, binabato mo ng sagot ang mga tanong kong nakalutang sa hangin. At parang isang dalubhasa, tinutulungan mo akong hanapin ang mga sagot sa ilalim ng mga bituwin. Patawad dahil kahit ilang beses mo ituro at ibahagi sa akin ang agham ng pag-ibig, bobo pa rin ako.
Alam mo bang masaya ako kapag pinipinta mo sa aking isipan ang kasaysayan ng mundo? Nabubuhay sa harap ko ang lahat sa paghibla mo ng nakaraan at nang kasalukuyan. Iginuguhit mo sa aking mga mata ang mga katotohanang itinago sa akin ng gobyerno, ginuguhit mo ang mga kaganapan sa kasaysayan na hindi isinulat sa libro.
Alam mo bang hinahangaan kita sa tuwing ipinapakita mo sa akin ang sining ng mundo? Parati kang may ibabahaging kaalaman sa bawat dula na itinanghal sa entablado. Natutunan ko na ring mahalin ang teatro dahil bukas-loob mo akong sinama sa mundong iyon.
Alam mo bang minsan ay kinakabahan ako kapag nag-uusap na tayo ng mga konsepto ng agham panlipunan at gobyerno? Dahil nakikita ko at nararamdaman ang nangyayari sa lipunang kinabibilangan natin. Dahil anumang oras maaari tayong madakip hindi dahil sa subersibo nating pananaw kundi marami tayong nabasa at nakitang artikulong ipinagbabawal.
Alam mo bang namamangha ako sa iyo sa tuwing may ibinabahagi kang kaalaman na wala sa mga libro sa library at sa bookstore? Magaling ka manaliksik at tumuklas ng mga bagay. Marunong kang maghanap ng literatura at impormasyong may kinalaman sa buhay at sa mundo.
Alam mo bang pangarap ko na sana ang magiging anak ko ay katulad mo? Na sana ituturo mo rin sa kanya ang mga bagay na binahagi mo sa akin. Na sa pagdating ng panahon, ikaw ang maging guro niya at sabay kayong tutuklas ng mga misteryo sa mundong ibabaw.
Sana ay di ka magsawang makipagdebate sa akin. Sana ay hindi ka mapagod sa mga diskusyon natin, na kahit bawal na tayo sa kape o sa matatamis ay patuloy pa rin tayong mag-"intellectual intercourse."
Sana malaman mo...
Alam mo bang masaya ako kapag pinipinta mo sa aking isipan ang kasaysayan ng mundo? Nabubuhay sa harap ko ang lahat sa paghibla mo ng nakaraan at nang kasalukuyan. Iginuguhit mo sa aking mga mata ang mga katotohanang itinago sa akin ng gobyerno, ginuguhit mo ang mga kaganapan sa kasaysayan na hindi isinulat sa libro.
Alam mo bang hinahangaan kita sa tuwing ipinapakita mo sa akin ang sining ng mundo? Parati kang may ibabahaging kaalaman sa bawat dula na itinanghal sa entablado. Natutunan ko na ring mahalin ang teatro dahil bukas-loob mo akong sinama sa mundong iyon.
Alam mo bang minsan ay kinakabahan ako kapag nag-uusap na tayo ng mga konsepto ng agham panlipunan at gobyerno? Dahil nakikita ko at nararamdaman ang nangyayari sa lipunang kinabibilangan natin. Dahil anumang oras maaari tayong madakip hindi dahil sa subersibo nating pananaw kundi marami tayong nabasa at nakitang artikulong ipinagbabawal.
Alam mo bang namamangha ako sa iyo sa tuwing may ibinabahagi kang kaalaman na wala sa mga libro sa library at sa bookstore? Magaling ka manaliksik at tumuklas ng mga bagay. Marunong kang maghanap ng literatura at impormasyong may kinalaman sa buhay at sa mundo.
Alam mo bang pangarap ko na sana ang magiging anak ko ay katulad mo? Na sana ituturo mo rin sa kanya ang mga bagay na binahagi mo sa akin. Na sa pagdating ng panahon, ikaw ang maging guro niya at sabay kayong tutuklas ng mga misteryo sa mundong ibabaw.
Sana ay di ka magsawang makipagdebate sa akin. Sana ay hindi ka mapagod sa mga diskusyon natin, na kahit bawal na tayo sa kape o sa matatamis ay patuloy pa rin tayong mag-"intellectual intercourse."
Sana malaman mo...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
breaking up is just so hard to do...
"Grace, paano ba makipagbreak?"
I almost fell down the moment I read this text message on my cellphone, knowing that the message was from someone special who just recently had entered his so-called "eto na ito" relationship.
I replied by saying,
"Ewan ko. Maghanap ka ng iba. Wag ka magpakita ng isang buwan. di ba kabisado mo na dapat yan."
I gave an answer that I did not even bother to think about first or never at all. I do not think I am in the right position to answer such query. For I only had two relationships in my life. So my experience of break-ups is somehow still lacking, although I had my major roles in both break-ups. I had both played the heart breaker and the heartbroken. In my first relationship I admit I am the heart breaker. I broke a man's heart by falling for someone else, I broke it further when I entered a whirlwind romance (whirlwind indeed for it lasted shortly). I am the heart broken in the second relationship. I did not initiate the break-up process but I initiated the events that lead to it and in the end I was the one who was left behind.
I try not to put myself in the character of a heartbroken as the weakest in the relationship. I did cry, felt helpless and hopeless for sometime. But it depends whether one considers himself as the the broken or the breaker. A positive perspective would make someone look at himself in the failed relationship as someone who lost or gained something. I lost the relationship but I gained life. A new, stronger and wiser one.
So the two reasonable ways to break-up that I advised that someone were drawn from my subconsciousness. Because those two reasons were basically what happened to me. I just had different perspectives on both break-ups.
For someone who's had many relationships before and who happens to be my senior, I do not think he should have asked me that question. But I guess he thought my answer would give him a different perspective or maybe I had a different way of breaking it up. The truth is, I do. I had my own ways on how to break a relationship. I just hope that I will never have to do it again. Because breaking up is just so hard to do.
I almost fell down the moment I read this text message on my cellphone, knowing that the message was from someone special who just recently had entered his so-called "eto na ito" relationship.
I replied by saying,
"Ewan ko. Maghanap ka ng iba. Wag ka magpakita ng isang buwan. di ba kabisado mo na dapat yan."
I gave an answer that I did not even bother to think about first or never at all. I do not think I am in the right position to answer such query. For I only had two relationships in my life. So my experience of break-ups is somehow still lacking, although I had my major roles in both break-ups. I had both played the heart breaker and the heartbroken. In my first relationship I admit I am the heart breaker. I broke a man's heart by falling for someone else, I broke it further when I entered a whirlwind romance (whirlwind indeed for it lasted shortly). I am the heart broken in the second relationship. I did not initiate the break-up process but I initiated the events that lead to it and in the end I was the one who was left behind.
I try not to put myself in the character of a heartbroken as the weakest in the relationship. I did cry, felt helpless and hopeless for sometime. But it depends whether one considers himself as the the broken or the breaker. A positive perspective would make someone look at himself in the failed relationship as someone who lost or gained something. I lost the relationship but I gained life. A new, stronger and wiser one.
So the two reasonable ways to break-up that I advised that someone were drawn from my subconsciousness. Because those two reasons were basically what happened to me. I just had different perspectives on both break-ups.
For someone who's had many relationships before and who happens to be my senior, I do not think he should have asked me that question. But I guess he thought my answer would give him a different perspective or maybe I had a different way of breaking it up. The truth is, I do. I had my own ways on how to break a relationship. I just hope that I will never have to do it again. Because breaking up is just so hard to do.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Full Moon
Every time I am out on the streets I always looked up in the sky, always looking for than tiny white thing. I am fascinated by its beauty, its glamor and prowess in the midst of an infinite space. Despite its solitude and distance from other heavenly bodies, it never fails to bring people together. Making them look up and dream for a prosperous day ahead. I have yet to see what the moon will bring to my future, but I am sure it will give me something beautiful tonight.
A few nights in a month the moon becomes full. On such occasions, I am nostalgic. It is not every night do we see the moon at its finest. Those are the nights when the space above is full - of stars, the moon and sky. Nature is complete when the moon shows its face, uninhibited and full of strength. The moon changes the color of its glow depending on the solar system's movement and surprisingly, the mood among its viewers changes too.
Many gather strength from the moon; there are others who become alive the moment the moon fills up the empty sky and there are those who start their lives upon the striking of the moon in the evening sky. Up there in all its glory, it shines on the earth with a mixture of a fearful and endearing glow. Its light reflects on the deep blue sea, uniting the air and water.
For the scientists it is just another body in the cosmos, an omen to the mystics, a romantic gesture to the hopeless lover, a clock to the magician and a guiding light to the nocturnal hunter. I do not know what I shall call the moon; I have nothing special for it other than a creation to admire every night and something to share with a loved one.
May the moon be anything but death for when it comes, the earth will just be a once-in-a-blue-moon event that transcended space.
A few nights in a month the moon becomes full. On such occasions, I am nostalgic. It is not every night do we see the moon at its finest. Those are the nights when the space above is full - of stars, the moon and sky. Nature is complete when the moon shows its face, uninhibited and full of strength. The moon changes the color of its glow depending on the solar system's movement and surprisingly, the mood among its viewers changes too.
Many gather strength from the moon; there are others who become alive the moment the moon fills up the empty sky and there are those who start their lives upon the striking of the moon in the evening sky. Up there in all its glory, it shines on the earth with a mixture of a fearful and endearing glow. Its light reflects on the deep blue sea, uniting the air and water.
For the scientists it is just another body in the cosmos, an omen to the mystics, a romantic gesture to the hopeless lover, a clock to the magician and a guiding light to the nocturnal hunter. I do not know what I shall call the moon; I have nothing special for it other than a creation to admire every night and something to share with a loved one.
May the moon be anything but death for when it comes, the earth will just be a once-in-a-blue-moon event that transcended space.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
mary
Before the year ended, we shared a night like no other. We were in a dark room yet the light you emitted was enough to show me who you really are. Your outline, the touch of your skin and your scent drove me crazy. It was an exciting night knowing that after many years of my existence, I would finally meet you face-to-face. There was only a brief introduction because we felt like we have known each other for a long time. I know you from the books, the media, the government and the adventurers but I have yet to know the real you. You know all about me, my need to escape, my desire to experience and my angst. You said you will give me your services for free as long as I do not fall in love with you head over heels. We will hook up as agreed; no obligations, no regrets and free of charge.
I ran my fingers against your body. I shivered at the thought that finally we will be one. You touched me in places like no one else can and we breathed the same cold air. In the silence of the night you sang with Ivy,
Bye Bye baby, don’t be long
I’ll worry about you while you’re gone…
All my worries got lost in space the moment you kissed me. Time stopped and there was no turning back. It is now or never. All that I was taught about you were forgotten the instant you penetrated me. Yes, we were finally one. You went inside me and took my soul away; with it were the truths I strongly believed in. I did not fight back instead I gave it all. You wrapped me in your arms and I felt your warmth inside me. You warmed my cold heart and it suddenly pumped back to life.
My resurrected heart worked faster than ever, I do not know if it was the thrill of the moment or your presence that made it race like hell. All I know is that you made me be someone that the society thinks is not capable of committing a crime much more go out with you. You created a reality for me, a reality free from oppression, from love, from myself and free from truths.
You gave us a reality very different from mine, although at the back of my mind I know it will not last. It never will.
You took my breath away but still I gasped that you do not stop. It was a perfect bliss. You were all over me; passionately burning and clouding the space around us. Your spirit sustained me until your fire died.
The people are against us. They want you away from this world where you can no longer hurt people. Every minute was a struggle with the thought that what was happening is a sin, a crime against society. If they find us together, we could both be dead.
What they said were true. You were classy that Dunhill, better than Winston by tenfold and stronger than what the Fortune teller foretold. You were better than a man for you brought me effortlessly to heaven. We flew to never land. That night you were mine and I am yours, my Mary.
It does not matter what the others call you. Your former lovers may call you a thousand endearing names but you are my opium and my only one night stand.
I am sorry I broke the rules. I fell in love with you. When shall I see you again? I want to hear your sweet promises; I need to feel you again. When will you cloud the room that we once shared? I looked for you in the Fair grounds but did not feel your presence. When years before, we always had brief encounters in the midst of the University grounds. I have not forgotten about you and I never will. I am worried while you are gone. I cannot wait to create a new and different reality with you, even if it is short-lived.
I am singing you this while waiting for your return.
…Baby, don’t be long
I’ll worry about you while you’re gone…
I’ll think of you in my dreams,
You never know just what you mean to me.
I ran my fingers against your body. I shivered at the thought that finally we will be one. You touched me in places like no one else can and we breathed the same cold air. In the silence of the night you sang with Ivy,
Bye Bye baby, don’t be long
I’ll worry about you while you’re gone…
All my worries got lost in space the moment you kissed me. Time stopped and there was no turning back. It is now or never. All that I was taught about you were forgotten the instant you penetrated me. Yes, we were finally one. You went inside me and took my soul away; with it were the truths I strongly believed in. I did not fight back instead I gave it all. You wrapped me in your arms and I felt your warmth inside me. You warmed my cold heart and it suddenly pumped back to life.
My resurrected heart worked faster than ever, I do not know if it was the thrill of the moment or your presence that made it race like hell. All I know is that you made me be someone that the society thinks is not capable of committing a crime much more go out with you. You created a reality for me, a reality free from oppression, from love, from myself and free from truths.
You gave us a reality very different from mine, although at the back of my mind I know it will not last. It never will.
You took my breath away but still I gasped that you do not stop. It was a perfect bliss. You were all over me; passionately burning and clouding the space around us. Your spirit sustained me until your fire died.
The people are against us. They want you away from this world where you can no longer hurt people. Every minute was a struggle with the thought that what was happening is a sin, a crime against society. If they find us together, we could both be dead.
What they said were true. You were classy that Dunhill, better than Winston by tenfold and stronger than what the Fortune teller foretold. You were better than a man for you brought me effortlessly to heaven. We flew to never land. That night you were mine and I am yours, my Mary.
It does not matter what the others call you. Your former lovers may call you a thousand endearing names but you are my opium and my only one night stand.
I am sorry I broke the rules. I fell in love with you. When shall I see you again? I want to hear your sweet promises; I need to feel you again. When will you cloud the room that we once shared? I looked for you in the Fair grounds but did not feel your presence. When years before, we always had brief encounters in the midst of the University grounds. I have not forgotten about you and I never will. I am worried while you are gone. I cannot wait to create a new and different reality with you, even if it is short-lived.
I am singing you this while waiting for your return.
…Baby, don’t be long
I’ll worry about you while you’re gone…
I’ll think of you in my dreams,
You never know just what you mean to me.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Mga nakita kong pagbabago sa UP
Madami nang nagbago sa UP. Yung isawan, kung dati-rati basta oorder ka na lang, amay maya kukuning mo na lang ang isang dosenang isaw. Ngayon, may pila na, may order slip na pati. Naging systematic na sila sa pagkuha ng order ng mga customer. Hindi lang yun, may mic na ang tindera at hindi lang basta mic, naka-lapel pa. so kapag nalutoi na ang order, hindi na kailangang sumigaw pero dinig pa rin ng lahat ng mamimili ang order mo, kung magkano ang binayad mo at kung may problema sa order. Sa ibang pagkakataon, alam na rin ng ibang mamimili kung ano ang pangalan mo. Nakakatawa, broadcasted na ang order in a systematic way naman.
Marami na nga ang nagbago. hindi ko na kilala ang mga nakaupo sa tambayan, hindi ko na makilala ang mga mukha na dumadaan sa pasilyo ng kolehiyo, hindi ko na rin kilala ang ibang mga guro. Lumiit na rin campus, mula noong lumipat ang registrar malapit sa FC at dahil ang ruta ng toki umiksi na rin. Marami na ang nagbago; kasama na siguro ako doon.
Kailangan daw kasi ng pagbabago. Iyon lang hindi nagbabago sa mundong ibabaw. Malay natin baka si Oble may saplot na bukas o kaya naman puro mayaman na lang makakapag-aral dito. Pero sa lahat ng magbabago sa UP, sana hindi ang huli.
Marami na nga ang nagbago. hindi ko na kilala ang mga nakaupo sa tambayan, hindi ko na makilala ang mga mukha na dumadaan sa pasilyo ng kolehiyo, hindi ko na rin kilala ang ibang mga guro. Lumiit na rin campus, mula noong lumipat ang registrar malapit sa FC at dahil ang ruta ng toki umiksi na rin. Marami na ang nagbago; kasama na siguro ako doon.
Kailangan daw kasi ng pagbabago. Iyon lang hindi nagbabago sa mundong ibabaw. Malay natin baka si Oble may saplot na bukas o kaya naman puro mayaman na lang makakapag-aral dito. Pero sa lahat ng magbabago sa UP, sana hindi ang huli.
meeting old friends
I already had planned how my day should go. Have my picture taken at UP SC, then buy meds for the parents, run some other errands and get my laptop. As I was walking, I felt the urge to have something cold as the heat of the summer kisses me. The nearest fruit shake stand did not have what I had in my mind. I found it odd that they do not serve avocado shake, saying it was out of the season whjen I knew it wasn't. Nevertheless I went to a hunt and moved to another store despite it's distance from I should be really going. A sudden change in my planned route led me to a famous carinderia in UP. While waiting in cue, I was tapped by an old friend who happened to drop by UP since it was a city holiday in Mandaluyong. She is with another good friend and talked for hours, laughing and recalling the old UP days. The org days actually, since it was what brought us together in the first place. We chatted on how the org was, the gossips, issues - political and romantic, the people whom we miss dearly. We laughed and on the good times, how we were then and now. We relayed the mishaps and misadventures we have encountered since we got out of UP. Funny how much we have grown yet still had that youthful college spirit.
As we decided to part ways since it was getting dark, we passed by Mang Larry's Isaw, which is already an icon of UP culture. We decided to grab a bite, only to realize that another former orgmates were there too. Again, we chatted, laughed and caught up on each others' lives. It is true that once a working person visits his old college campus would feel young again. Others felt relaxed, rejuvenated and filled with the old youthful energy. They felt it and I did too. I don't know if it had to do witht he fresh air, the cool breeze or the trees surrounding the campus. I think it is the memories that we would hold on for the rest of our lives. The experiences of joy, heartache, fulfillment, deadlines and friendships that we had would always be imprinted in our memories.
Then it was getting dark. We still have work and classes to attend to the next day so the need to the end of meeting was inevitable.
I had a good time and I know they did too. I did finish my errands and still had time to write this. Earlier, I was worried I may not do what I was supposed to do today. I was afraid the plans I had for this day would remain just a plan and will be executed the following day or the next. But I did make it.
Sometimes circumstances would make us change how we live our lives. A simple change in plan might change the everything. Well, not really simple changes will not do harm unless you get too engorge you forgot your duties and responsibilities. Sometimes letting it all flow and let nature take its course would make you happier and more fulfilled.
That sudden change in my route and schedule for the day left me happier. I was not exhausted, nay, I felt energized. We all wished that we could still live our lives the way we did before. But everybody has to grow up and see the real world.
So for anyone who is in college now, enjoy while it lasts. And when it ends, feel free to drop by your college campus once in a while. It will bring you back to the old days when everything was free; when you were not yet a taxpayer and you were still your own master.
As we decided to part ways since it was getting dark, we passed by Mang Larry's Isaw, which is already an icon of UP culture. We decided to grab a bite, only to realize that another former orgmates were there too. Again, we chatted, laughed and caught up on each others' lives. It is true that once a working person visits his old college campus would feel young again. Others felt relaxed, rejuvenated and filled with the old youthful energy. They felt it and I did too. I don't know if it had to do witht he fresh air, the cool breeze or the trees surrounding the campus. I think it is the memories that we would hold on for the rest of our lives. The experiences of joy, heartache, fulfillment, deadlines and friendships that we had would always be imprinted in our memories.
Then it was getting dark. We still have work and classes to attend to the next day so the need to the end of meeting was inevitable.
I had a good time and I know they did too. I did finish my errands and still had time to write this. Earlier, I was worried I may not do what I was supposed to do today. I was afraid the plans I had for this day would remain just a plan and will be executed the following day or the next. But I did make it.
Sometimes circumstances would make us change how we live our lives. A simple change in plan might change the everything. Well, not really simple changes will not do harm unless you get too engorge you forgot your duties and responsibilities. Sometimes letting it all flow and let nature take its course would make you happier and more fulfilled.
That sudden change in my route and schedule for the day left me happier. I was not exhausted, nay, I felt energized. We all wished that we could still live our lives the way we did before. But everybody has to grow up and see the real world.
So for anyone who is in college now, enjoy while it lasts. And when it ends, feel free to drop by your college campus once in a while. It will bring you back to the old days when everything was free; when you were not yet a taxpayer and you were still your own master.
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